Perplexed With Confidence

Have you ever gotten some news that completely threw a wrench into your plans? Or have something happen in your life and all you can do is ask why?

I have many times. It seems that every time I have a plan for the direction of my life, something happens that either prevents or delays my ability to enforce my plans. There are times when it just seems like everything in my world is going haywire and I get confused. Confused because no matter how deep I think my faith is, it's always easy for me to question God. Confused because I don't always see a way out. When I don't know what to expect next, my natural human reactions are fear, worry, and doubt.

Last night, I learned a nugget of information that's a major life changer for me. My initial reaction was fear. Then worry. Then denial. Back to fear. The worry carried on through the night. I woke up every hour. Hundreds of thoughts running through my head. How? Why? What will happen if...? Scenarios of how this will all play out. How will this affect my family? How this will interrupt my plans. I allowed my thoughts to torture me all night long.

Until this morning...God brought me the perfect scripture at the perfect time. 2 Corinthians 4:7-10. It's a verse many of us are familiar with. I'll let you read it in your own time, but for now, the part that caused me to discard my worried thoughts was verse eight: "we are hard pressed on everyside, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair"

To be perplexed is to be filled with uncertainty. That I was and still am. I don't understand why this is happening. The timing couldn't be more wrong for me. I can't possibly see with my human eyes how this will play out. I have many questions, all of which are unaswered. I hate not knowing. I'm the person who will ask a million questions because I have a really hard time dealing with not knowing things. I don't take many risks because I always think in terms of the fear of the unknown.

As I grow older and am raising children, I'm learning life is full of perplexities. But just because we are filled with uncertainty, doesn't mean we have to be in despair.  To despair is to lose hope or confidence. This tells me that since I have the power of God working for me, no matter how confused or perplexed I am, I don't have to lose my hope or confidence in God. As a believer in Christ, I have been given the supernatural gift to be able to have confidence in Him and His ability and desire to make every situation in my life work out for my good, to my benefit. I have the awesome privilege to give all my questions, confusion, doubt, and worry to God, knowing that he'll give me the information I need when I need it. I can exchange my yolk for His. At this very moment, it feels like a ton of bricks have been lifted from my shoulders. I don't have to give up hope. No matter how this turns out, regardless of what anyone thinks or says, I can and will hold on to the hope that God's perfect will for my life is better than my plans for my life and there are great things waiting for me and my family.

At this moment, I give it all to God. I trust God to handle this situation in a manner that is in my best interest. I'm not going to worry. I don't have to worry, because I know God has already worked this out for me. Today I'm going to go to the farmers market, go to a new grocery store and shop for food, clear out the clutter in my house in prepartion for the new year, take an afternoon nap with my favorite girls, eat and catch up on my fav tv shows. I'm going to do all those things without worrying because my Bible tells me I don't have to despair. So, I won't. This shall be a worry free day. Tonight I will rest, peacefully. Today, tomorrow, and God willing, the days after, I will hope and believe with confidence in the wonderous power of my God.

Give Thanks

As the Christmas season wraps up and the hustle & bustle begins to wind down, I'm able to sit back and reflect over the details of the last few weeks. In doing so, I've learned a few things:

1) Waiting five days before Christmas to start shopping for gifts is not wise.

2) Even though I know the true meaning for Christmas, I definetly don't take enough time to reflect on the true miracle of Christmas.

3) When your brain screams "STOP EATING, YOU'RE FULL!" you should really take heed, because there's a good chance you'll regret eating that last slice of pie topped with whipped cream & ice cream.

4) I'm not a very patient person and I have low tolerance for rude people.

5) I don't thank God enough for all the wonderful things He's done for me.

I can go on, but I won't (how does won't mean will not? Shouldn't it be willn't?? The word won't always drove me crazy). Instead, I'll elaborate on #5.

On Christmas morning, we were all gathered in the family room of my sister's home. The kids were opening their gifts. Because I have this weird need to surprise my kids, my six year old should've been amazed to see all the gifts that awaited her ripping through them...yeah, uh no, she showed very little surprise at all. As the girls were opening the gifts my eyes wander back and forth from my girls to my neices. I see all the kids burst with excitment as each gift was revealed...all but Moriah's (we call her Mo). Mo just has this stoic look on her face. She seemed uninterested, bored even. It drove me crazy. It made me a little mad. Mad because not only did I brave the insanely busy stores the week of Christmas for her, but I spent a lot of hard earned money. And she had the nerve to sit there and not even pretend to like a single gift I so thoughtfully chose for her.

Fast forward about an hour later...all the presents are open, kids are playing & eating sweets from their stockings...Mo came to me when no one was close around and said, "Mommy, I liked all my gifts, I really do like them all, and the ones I really like the best are the sweater (which she was wearing at that point), the pillow pet, and the guitar (compliments of her aunt). Thank you, Mommy." The sensitive sappy mom in me wanted to cry, but I kept it together and simply hugged her & said "you're welcome & I'm glad you like them."

Later on, I realized that there are areas in my life in which I don't show adequate thankfulness to the One who blesses me. I might casually say something like, "thank you God for everything you do for me" in the opening or closing of a prayer. But how often do I truely express unrestrained thanks to God? Not nearly as often as I should. Everyday we should verbally and enthusiastically thank God for the many blessings and gifts He bestows upon us.

Let's take some time to tell God how grateful we are. Instead of only going to God for "I want" or "I need" try thanking Him for something instead. Give thanks to God for the small stuff, the huge stuff, all the stuff. Imagine how much our Father will be pleased when we simply express sincere gratitude. I know it's easy to take the everyday blessings (like waking up in the morning, food to eat, healthy bodies, electricty, a warm place to sleep, etc.) for granted, but what would we do without them? Let's not forget all that God does to take care of us. Let's remember to give thanks. Giving thanks is quite simply, expressing gratitude. Let's show God how truely grateful we are.

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits. Psalm 103:2

Help

I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made the heaven and earth. ~Psalm 121:1-2

I love my children. As a parent I try to encourage them to be loving, selfless, helpful, and willing to serve others. Every now and again, it seems those 'be helpful' and 'serve others' lessons backfire on me and I silently wish they were't so helpful (does that make me a horrible parent??). Sometimes when my 6 year old and 22 month old daughters try to help me, they just get in the way and makes my job harder. It takes everything in me not to shout "BACK OFF!" Or "I don't need your help." But the always calm, never loose my cool mother that I am (NOT!) always tries to divert their attention elsewhere. For instance, if I'm loading the dishwasher, I know my toddler will want to help (translation: sit on the dishwasher door and take dirty utensils out and put them in the drawer with the clean ones), so if I'm having a sharp-thinking, ahead-of-the-ball kind of day, before I start the dishes, I'll give her the broom and ask her to sweep for me. That usually keeps her busy long enough for me to jam through the dishes and saves us both frustration.

As a child of God, I imagine I must drive my heavenly Father nuts when I try to help Him. In Psalm 121, the Psalmist asks and answers the question, where does his help come from? "My help comes from the Lord, who made the heaven and earth." The Bible doesn't say God's help comes from me. That would be ridiculous, right?

God doesn't need our help. That's been a hard lesson for me to learn. If I see a problem, I have to try to fix it. I'm a bit of a control freak. I like things done my way, in my time. I'm the one who has the gall to say "God, if you would just let me try it this way, I promise it'll work out." Crazy, right? God being the all-knowing God He is will allow me to do things my way, which always results in me running back to Him for help, because I usually make things worse.

Just as I try to divert my kids' attention when they want to help me, I wonder if God does the same thing to us. It wouldn't surprise me if in His infinite wisdom, God gives us "busy work" while He handles the the real stuff...the stuff that's just way out of our league.

God truely is our help. He wants to be our help. We just have to allow Him to help us. It may mean relinquishing some control, but in the end it's so worth it and will save us a lot of trouble. If we do it with God's help the first time, all the time, imagine all the do-overs we'd save ourselves, all the weight that would be lifted from our shoulders, all the support at our disposal. God has all the tools we need. He's given us all the tools we need...we just have to take advantage of them.

I feel so much lighter since I decided to allow God to help me. When turbulance approaches, I'm not as shaken because I'm comforted in knowing that I have God by my side and He'll help me through.

So, during the bleakest hour, when you see no way out, and you've run out of words to pray, I encourage you to fall on your knees, lift your eyes and hands toward heaven and shout, "HELP, GOD, HELP!" He'll already be there at your side, ready to rescue you.
 

Beautiful Rain

Romans 5:3-5 reads: Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit whom he has given us.
Welcome to my blog, my head, my heart, and my world. I'm new at this, so patience will be a virtue you'll need to exercise while I get the hang of this whole blogging thing down.

Beautiful Rain. Rain is the yucky wet stuff many of us try to avoid, but we learn that it's inevitable, we need it to survive. Beauty is what rain creates. The rainbows, the flowers, the clear skies after clouds break away. If life never came with struggles or obstacles, we'd all be limp as spaghetti. Rain gives us backbone, character. It's often after the storm passes that we recognize or strengths. If you're going through a storm, remember God is covering you, and that storm is shaping and molding your character. With God, you can walk out of that storm a stronger you,a more beautiful you. Every storm that you walk out of adds to your supply of hope. Hope that you can hold onto during the next rainy season. Hope is expecting with confidence. Confidence is knowing that no matter how hard the rain falls,God our protector is with us and will carry us through. Every storm we overcome brings us closer to Him. So, I say, bring on the Beautiful Rain.